![]() At the very least, expecting some understanding isn’t asking too much. We need to figure out the best ways to function in our own lives - and sometimes, we may need help. When you can find the courage to openly admit your issue, discuss what it’s like, and how you have to accommodate the sudden urges, your quality of life will improve.Īt the end of the day, we shouldn’t be ashamed or embarrassed about having a medical condition that requires some adaptation and support. Most everyone has heard the terms overactive bladder and incontinence, so simply saying, “Before we venture out, I want you to be aware of a condition I have that requires some special accommodation,” has often been a good approach for me. Now, anytime I’m in a new situation, I need to think about two things: who needs to know and how much do they need to know to understand and be helpful?įor a long time, it was hard for me to talk to men about it, but I’ve learned that many of them have issues, too. (FYI, it’s easier to stop leakage that can accompany the urge to go if I’m sitting).īut how can anyone understand what’s happening if they don’t know what’s wrong? For me, I’ve learned that it’s important to be able to tell my family, friends, and co-workers “I need to take a quick break,” and know they understand. ![]() ![]() They didn’t understand why a person who seemed to be in pretty good shape needed to sit down for a minute, several times a day, while we were sightseeing or shopping in a mall. I still had some difficulty being completely open with all my friends. But my life got a lot easier when I finally started talking about it. It turns out some of them also had urgency issues, although maybe not to the same degree as I do. My success with explaining it to Tim and to my curling friends made it easier to tell other pals. His understanding has definitely made things so much better. Once I explained to him what it’s like and that I don’t have any control over it, he was able to handle it and be helpful. The truth is that I knew that if I could just squat down for a minute and let the feeling pass, I could make it to a bathroom. He was also embarrassed by my sudden need to examine products on the bottom shelves any time we were in a store, too.įortunately, he came to understand that I wasn’t really shopping. The inconvenient timing of my urges also created problems for my husband, Tim, initially – even though I’d always make sure to use the bathroom before leaving home. Sharing my challenges has increased my support She understood and even helped me find obscure bathrooms we could use. I just couldn’t admit that I was having such severe urgency and that I couldn’t control it.Īfter we got home, I finally confided in my friend about my OAB, and when we went to Vancouver, it was so much better. I could have told my good friend what was going on, but there were two other friends of hers traveling with us, including a man. While in Italy, I had to miss one day of events to stay in the hotel and do laundry. Then there were the trips to the Winter Olympics, first in Torino, Italy, and then Vancouver - foreign countries, with long lines for security, no public bathrooms in transportation terminals, and very few (or none) in some venues. But I was still having OAB issues, so I’d have to drive the company dump truck to a gas station every hour. Suddenly, I was the (female) head landscape designer overseeing a crew of men as we installed a design in a yard. After that, I went to work for a company in the suburbs. Later, I sold the business and went back to school to become a landscape designer. At work, I was only a few steps from the bathroom, which was really helpful. My overactive bladder was difficult to treat, and it just got worse.įor 23 years, I owned a small business. Unfortunately, it felt like there were few definitive answers. It helped with some things, but not my urgency issues. He suggested taking Premarin, which I ended up using for a long time. (No, they didn’t work.)Īnother time, I told my gynecologist when I got a pap test. She also suggested that I try using compounded hormones for my symptoms. Still, I was too embarrassed to mention my symptoms to a doctor, so for a long time I didn’t have a real diagnosis.Īt one point, I finally mentioned it to a female doctor, and she admonished me to be careful to change pads as soon as they were wet to avoid yeast infections.
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